As we start our challenges, set out to achieve a dream, a goal of aspiration, some will be for, some against and some will simply wait for us to fail!
It happened when I set out to move to the UK in my late teens! I dreamt about it for a year, since the conversation with a cousin of mine that was already living here and loving it! I remember telling my parents that in a years time, once I finished my A-levels I would move to the UK. And I also remember their dismissive tone of voice since I had never been here on holidays and I was proposing to go it alone! Closer to the time they reluctantly gave me my one way flight ticket (I had fought tooth and nail for it not to be a return ticket). Closer to the time they even tried to bribe me with a car, but forgot they had not given me the driving lessons I had requested before, so it simply did not have the same pull!
It happened again when I went to Uni to do my first degree! By that time I was paying my own way and relied on my part time, often full time job to sustain myself! To my surprise, on the first day of lectures came the warning – Those of you with jobs you have to let those go, you cannot do that along with this degree! I chuckled inwardly along with a couple of others that I later found were in the exact same situation. Maybe it was not as inwardly as I thought, since we were able to quickly relate to each other in that moment.
The other time in my life when this was really noticeable was when my now husband and I became committed in a relationship. I had a couple of friends who coincidentally were not happy in their amourous circumstances and whenever we connected they would not hesitate in voicing a level of negativity that could be toxic to any new relationship. I believe that is was not intentional, nor personal in the measure they did not personally know him, however it left me with the decision of downsizing the friendships to those with added value in human relations and connections. You may see in a fair bit, when someone gets married, suddenly some of the friends resent the time you can no longer spend together and the things you no longer do!
But these challenges had the power to move me forward! To prove the naysayers they were wrong about me! They helped me not give up after each and every roadblock, they helped me on my eighteen hours days, on my seven days weeks, on my lost sleep amongst others
All this said, or written should I say, it is important to have a dream first and foremost! So dare to dream! If you are anything like me, I can be so used to the limit of possibilities I forget to dream!
Secondly, tell yourself if all was possible, how would you break your dream down into goals? What goals could you identify? Which ones would be the priority, which ones could and should take longer?
Thirdly, for each goal with a set deadline, what tasks can you pinpoint? When by?
Suddenly the unattainable dream is not so unattainable.
However, between the moment when we start to see all and what we need to do, until the time people see results there is a long string of rope! You may start to have comments like – weren’t you doing…? Wasn’t that supposed to be they one? When can we actually start to see results? Don’t you think it is too much? Don’t spread yourself thin!
Some will have the best of intentions but some won’t! You see, people get comfortable with your failure, with your status quo because that way they won’t have to justify their own failures to themselves. No one wants to be the villain in their own story.
So the solution? Surround yourself with like minded people, people striving just as you are, they will keep you accountable and urge you on when you feel you can’t! If nothing else they may inspire you along your path.
The achievement is not only getting to the top of the mountain but how much better of a person we become from the rocky road!
Be it reorganising the human relations around you to create your toxic free environment be it starting a new business, venture or career – yes, the road to success will be bumpy, rocky, challenging, but possible an incredibly satisfying once we achieve what we set out to.
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