Chose this topic because it is something that we all have to do and also something that is increasingly becoming more difficult.
I thought about this topic when I remembered an advert I watched years ago – A mum took a child to the supermarket, the child wanted something as they do and as mum said no, the child was ready to through a tantrum. However, the twist is mum ended up throwing the biggest ever tantrum instead and the child was stunned into submission. And they carried on on their merry way!
When it happens with children we know it is part of their development, but
what about the rest of us? Can you manage your emotions? How often do you feel like you lost control somewhat – be it failed to impose limits and said yes when you were wanted to say no or where you felt frustration or even anger for having an outcome completely unexpected or contrary to your expectations?
For some of us frustrations tend to be from difficulties in setting boundaries for others unmet expectations. Whichever group you fall under, one thing we have to realise that coupled with the stress we tend to have in our daily lives, means we have increasingly less coping mechanisms therefore we might react in a way that is more affected than when our coping mechanisms are at full capacity.
Try to stay calm in stressing situations, remove yourself from the situation if you can, if not take a few deep breaths because all you can ever try to do in any situation is to stay true to yourself.
Don’t regret past decisions because they were the best you could have chosen with the information you had at the time.
Describe situations that are charged with frustration with less negative words, like instead of saying in a road situation – that stupid person, who do they think they are! Using something like such a silly Billy or silly Sally or other comical descriptions you could find! I know this evokes some laughter from those in the car and suddenly the situation does not seem as aggravating as moments before.
In situations that can escalate into heated arguments try to practice active listening – listen to the words, emotions, body language, the other person carries across without thinking of the points to retort their arguments with.
Remember to validate their feelings because whether or not you agree with them does not give you the right to refute them.
Consider whether at times you need to be right, even if you are, specially if you have differing opinions and neither of you are prepared to change them
Another way to help you manage your emotions is to eat well …..
and sleep well to fill your coping mechanisms tank.
Do activities you enjoy like dancing, cookery, baking, travelling, even short weekends for a change of scenery.
Spend time with loved ones.
A normal part of having children is not only the wonder of the experience but also comes with munchkins versed on the art of pulling buttons and at that time I try to remember – It is not personal, children need to explore their boundaries to feel secure loved and find their place in the world.
Don’t repress your emotions find a healthy outlet, like walking briskly, running, or doing any cardio like exercises.
If you can find it within you to protect your mind and specially interpret your emotions as a sign of something to be addressed skilfully and not dismissed you will find it easier to promote your well being.
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