The certainty of Cancer is easier than the possibility of Corona Virus.
What a bold statement, could that really be? Here is why it felt that way to me!
Receiving a cancer diagnosis from a Dr. I worked with was simply devastating, it probably would have felt equally devastating even if I did not know him! What did it do? It removed questions about – could he have made a mistake? Is he experienced, should I seek a second opinion? I knew his professionalism so it was a weirdly reassuring drop in the sea of turmoil.
With all the questions you are plagued with, I made a decision to fight for my 6 year old and my unborn child. The difficult part was seeing the devastation and puzzlement in my husband’s eyes. Yet, in the craziness of it all he was so strong. Fighting for my life gave me a purpose, but Covid has been so different. Now we cannot ignore Covid, no one in the world has been able to ignore this pandemic!
As I write this I pray my family and I skate through unharmed but the mere thought of it, the possible devastation has been harder to manage. The helplessness of it all! A world I don’t recognize! You see, there are nuances in risk. The risk brackets the government has placed are set, yet their moderate risk is still far too high of a risk when I consider how close I was to dying, to how it felt to say goodbye to those I loved even if from a distance. It is so easy to spiral out of control in the anxiety loop.
How do we collect ourselves, how do we remain in control in the eye of the storm. The world around us does nothing but feed the anxiety through the news. So I turned to God, my only hope is to trust God. I tried all other things some to little and others to no comfort. I found that in the uncertainty of it all He remains unchanged. He was, He is and He will be! I read of His promises and read some of the 365 ways in which He says we should not fear. Faith is not new to me, God saw me through my cancer journey, yet in face of a new threat I felt powerless, helpless and anxious.
Please take a moment to remember that even though many CNS (Clinical Nurse Specialists) might have been redeployed to the frontline, you can always reach out to charities and organisations, their carelines, their counselling services.
My wish to you is that you find something/someone you turn to or focus on! That you can enunciate the good things around you you might have not had a chance to notice or experience otherwise! That you can create something that not only makes good use of your time, but can also take on the meaning of something good coming out of this insane time!
Last but not least, what does your miracle morning look like? How wellbeing orientated are your mornings? How do you ground yourself? Because let me tell you, it worked wonder for my faith and for me in general. A Miracle morning include a number set of steps like, practicing gratitude, prayer, meditation, energizing your body with some movement and planning the day ahead. Mine starts with some Bible reading, prayer, breathing exercises most days. However with a 14 month old baby i have to roll with the punches.
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